1|3|2010

It's funny how things suddenly change. Things and people. What and who appeared relevant to me on 1|3|2010 no longer are. I see them in a different light now. I've grown. This list would be composed differently if I allowed myself a re-do. Sad truth is, it hasn't even been a year. My hiatus had meaning.

TEN things I wish I could say to ten different people (but don't say their names)

1. Your tongue produces the sharpest words I've ever known. You tell it like it is without remorse. I could NEVER say the things you say. You keep me grounded. When my head gets too big, you definitely knock it down. Thanks, love. I needed those words.

2. It's almost rediculous how funny I think you are! You always make me laugh... no matter how upset I am-- you make me laugh. I just wish you had more self confidence. The more you doubt yourself, the more the people around you doubt you. You're too fly for that.

3. Although we've never met, I feel like (because of current circumstances) I've greatly disappointed you. KNOW that our paths will cross... We're friends now, but I know we'll be even closer in due time.

4. Why do you never believe a thing I say even after I prove you wrong? Although I don't need to, you make me feel the need to go out of my way to do so. I'm proud of you and enjoy our friendship, but you need to have more faith in your "friend" and stop thinking that I'm constantly lying. Oh... I think you're fucking beautiful... but we'd never work. I'm not your type, and you never believe me. Oil and water. Period. Maybe... never mind.

5. We just met, love... but I already have a crush on you. I'll probably never tell you, but I think you're an amazing girl. kldsj;fksdl

6. You're dope. I have mad respect for you and what you do, but WHY does no one tell you that you smell bad? Seriously? Love you to death, but COME THE FUCK ON. It's called a shower. Sheesh...

7. [specified towards a group of people] We were so tight in the beginning of it all. We watched each other grow, fail, and grow some more. After my last year of high school [if you could call it that] we drifted, but I felt the shift much earlier. Now, we never speak. I'm almost afraid to catch up with you all for fear of me sensing some fakeness... in which case I'd be forced to call you out, and nothing would turn out right. I guess the past is the past for a reason. Either way, I'm proud of you guys, and wish every last one of you the best.

8. Miss... you are the SEXIEST FUCKING THING TO WALK THE EARTH. I always think about you. "My first high school crush" would be the best way to describe you. We were tight [still are], and I grew to appreciate you, and acknowledge your talents. You're going places. I'm proud of you.

9. I regret what I did. Now both of us are suffering the consequences... ok, "consequences" is a harsh word, because regular communication isn't lacking with us! We're inseparable. I'm glad we met, regardless of "how" we met. And trust me... I'll make it up to you.

10. I hate how we fell out. It was completely my fault, but please understand that I was in a "The end result of all this hard work isn't what I expected AT ALL" mind set. For that I'm sorry. You worked hard to make this happen for me... for us. We're getting a little closer, but I'm sure once all the past tension has passed [if there is any] we'll do more projects together. Just remind me if I get ahead of myself. After what you told me, I always remind myself to remain humble. Thank you.

NINE things about myself

1. I can go through a 24 pack of water in two days... Yeah. I pee a lot. lol

2. I get my best ideas in the shower.

3. Speaking of showers... My family hates me for it, but I spend at least one hour in the shower.

9. I procrastinate like a motha... but the last minute thin motivates me. Bad habit though...

5. I'm difficult to read if you don't know me well, but once you do, you'll see my emotions super glued to my sleeve.

6. If you're a dancer... I've probably had a crazy crush on you at one point in time.

7. I'm gonna marry Sonya Tayeh one day.

8. My fast ends tomorrow! It was a good run... Doing it again in Feb.

4. My conections with organized religion is the exact reason as to why I'm not religious. At all. My connection with God is enough for me.


EIGHT ways to win my heart

1. Give me a 24 pack of bottled water. I'm serious. I've got my engagement ring ready.

2. Consistent back-to-back dialog over dinner will make me your b***h.

3. Write me a poem. Not ABOUT me, but for me.

4. Be genuine. Don't be something you think I want you to be.

5. Inspire me. It doesn't matter how... If you inspire me to do something-- ANYTHING, I'm yours.

6. I'll love you if I lose your trust somehow, and for some reason I gain it back.

7. Keep me guessing. If you're predictable, I'll lose interest.

8. [excuse the ratchetness] KEEP IT 100! I spot fakes a mile away.


SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot

1. My mother. [momma's boy for real]

2. Her.

3. I randomly imagine different ways I could die at any given moment... because I'm weird.

4. Sex.

5. Phone conversations from [past and more recent]

6. What could have been.

7. Failing.


SIX random things I wanted to mention

1. I'm studying Islam.

2. I am in love with Miesha Tyler's life. She is the Tranny to my MRSA REMIX <3

3. Butts fart.

4. If we travel together, we'll be instant friends... even if I don't know you. I spark up conversation with anyone I'm sitting next too for more than 15 minutes [except for IndyGo bus riders... eff ya'll weirdos.] =P

5. I HAVE FACIAL HAIR lmfao

6. If you're a poet, we're bound to meet.


FIVE people who mean so much to me (in no particular order)

1. Adam Buttner

2. Jacqueline Rivers

3. Sun Lu Chin

4. Reba LaDonna Terelle

5. Jamela Winters


FOUR things I'm wearing right now

1. Black wife beater

2. White b-ball shorts

3. Bare feet

4. Glasses


THREE songs that I listen to often (at the moment)

1. Something A La Mode- "Little Bit of Feel Good"

2. Justin Nozuka- "I Don't Know"

3. Pete Phillyand Perqusite- "Amazed" <---My shit


TWO things I want to do before I die

1. Prove myself wrong

2. Create an empire


ONE : CONFESSION

Gahhh... The Bad Girls Club is a guilty pleasure of mine. That show is my S**T! lmfao